Wine, a jacuzzi, and thou

We were in a jacuzzi at a four-star hotel, drinking wine. The police car had been going after the Cadillac; apparently, they had been too intent on a drug bust to notice Samantha's weaving.

Now I was fishing around in the water for the portions of caviar I'd spilled. The task made looking for needles in haystacks appear decidedly elementary.

Sam said, 'Feed me another strawberry, will you?'

'Sure thing, sweetheart.'

Lips open. Strawberry is inserted. Voluptuous chewing ensues.

'Oh, Alfie!' gushed Sam. 'These strawberries are so fresh. . .so sweet. . .so juicy!'

'They're a metaphor for my love, aren't they?' said I.

'Not really,' said she.